Dear Father, Show me your light, your wisdom, your truth. Help me see through the selfish and deceitful ways in myself and others. Give me the patience to discover what is righteous and good. Change my heart to seek out the wisdom in correction knowing that I am a sinner who needs to be shown the subtle evil that lurks. I want to stay true to your vision and purpose for my life, to weed out the unbelievers trying to sway my heart and my mission. Give me the strength to make the sacrifices, to do the hard work to stay the course. Help me seek justice and care for others. Soften my words, make them fruitful that they may return riches of the reward of eternal life in you. Give me patience, to not share foolishness and anger but spread love and joy and good council. Help me pray for my enemies, to take their works and use them for good not harm. Shield my thoughts to surrender to you, to cherish your lessons and your guidance. That I take the time to be still and listen to the faintest whisper of despair and doubt and instead hear life and joy. Thank you for our savior Jesus Christ who rescues us all.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
"On judgement day, each person will stand alone, accountable for all of his or her deeds. At that time, no amount of riches will buy reconciliation with God. Only our love for God and obedience to him will count." Life Application Study Guide.
Father God I value your word. What a blessing we have in the bible as our GPS. To help us recalculate when we are seduced by the ways of sin and the works of the evil. Ground me in your word, your wisdom so I can be righteous. Not perfect, for perfection is impossible for us mere humans. Love the Lord and seek to follow his teachings is all we can do here on earth. I ask God to change my heart, to help me love instead of hate, give rather than receive. Help me continue to seek wisdom, even from my critics where growth is revealed, the path to wisdom. Wisdom is birthed with knowing God, studying his word and letting his truths cover my life like a warm blanket on a chilly morning. Being covered in the word and the truth helps me grow and seize the opportunities to live fiercely for Him.
Hatred stirs up conflict, but love conquers all wrongs. Proverbs 10:12
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Lord I come before you broken, to put the pieces back together in Your order. My whole being seeks out Your wisdom and I give myself to You. I offer my sins up to You for You posses the all knowing truth. Help me continue to seek You in my brightest moments and my darkest corners. There is no part of my life You do not know, no part is secret from You. Your wisdom is there always like the sun, a shining example of the way and the truth. Walk with me, stick close to my heart that I should stay cleanly on Your path and not the path of destruction. Help me avoid what the world lays out for my seduction, the shiny objects of distraction that hold a moments pleasure but enslave me in lifelong pain. I thank You for Your sacrifice of life so that I might live fully in Your kingdom. I praise You, I worship You. I thank You for the many blessings You so generously bestow on me. Make me continue to be aware of Your presence and Your grace so that I can know peace. Let my peace be a testimony to others to see the riches that await for those that seek You.
For those who find me find life and receive favor from the Lord. Proverbs 8:35
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
I went to Catholic school, and CCD. I saw the videos of aborted babies, I heard all the negative comments, and I know it is against everything the Church stands for. But at such a young age, with no life experience to build meaning to the argument I never took a real stand. Until today. Hearing of this viral video of a woman’s abortion on Vimeo I thought… really? I had to investigate for myself. I am not here to judge this girl, that is not my job, but I can certainly have an opinion about it. The whole thing sickens me and saddens me. The film of this young woman, going through an abortion on camera, is just wrong. Her background as an abortion counselor should have given her the means to prevent this. I can’t help but wonder if this former “actress” used this opportunity for fame. She knew the moment she got pregnant she would have an abortion. She is being applauded for taking the mystery out of this procedure and showing other young women it is “no big deal”. I understand everyone has free will and a choice to determine what happens to her own body.Who speaks for the child? I am not free from this shadowy subject. At 43 years old I got pregnant. I was initially mortified. I had just opened a business a year earlier and was working crazy hours to get it up and running. I immediately thought of this as an inconvenience, or a cruel joke. But I also wondered if this was truly God’s plan for me. I called Planned Parenthood and heard their whole spiel about the process. I even questioned the best days for me; honestly, trying to figure what would work best in my busy schedule. Something I am not proud of. But ultimately in discussion with my now ex-husband we decided to keep this baby. I thought most certainly there was purpose and a lesson in this “gift” we were given. So we embraced the pregnancy, and told our children. Two weeks later I began bleeding and ultimately lost the baby. I felt an enormous amount of guilt; did I wish this baby away? Was I being punished for initially not wanting the baby? These questions would haunt me. The decision was mine, just as it was of this young woman. I am not holier than anyone, I am a sinner. But I am also at this point of my life seeking more answers on my journey to the kingdom of God. And trying my best to live on Gods purpose for my life. And shame on Cosmo. I must admit I was an avid reader of Cosmo in the day but looking back I have to wonder if ANY of the articles that I read did me any good in the long term. If I was not having the best sex, or the clearest skin, or the thinnest thighs or flattest abs I was just not good enough. This constant barrage of pursuing the ultimate self-fulfillment lauded by Cosmo and most magazines today did me no favors. This selfish pursuit and narcissistic approach left me insecure and doubting my worth, a struggle that continues today. I choose to take a stand, to not applaud this self-first and the rest be damned attitude anymore. It is a work in progress as am I. The feminism of Cosmo back in the day and the radical feminism of current media are creating a visionless society of women. Those that seek self-gratification before serving others, before serving God. And the media that applauds this sickens me. Satan’s work is to overturn Gods order. He does this not through grand gestures but small whispers, daily to lead us astray. You just need to look at the state of the world today to see this. My hope and prayer is that we go back to standards and morals of years gone by. Where we seek the wisdom and guidance of people we can respect. Not the consumerism driven media.